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Several recent conversations of mine have quickly turned from cordial to borderline destructive at the mere mention of “how much professional athletes get paid” (or CEO’s, actors, software companies, and so on). I can only assume the vast majority of the world feels “those people” are grossly over-compensated, because every time I try to dispute the allegation, a brushfire ensues. It typically goes something like this:

1. Someone mentions their disdain for the greed, selfishness, and evil intentions of some wealthy rock star or millionaire businessman.
2. I nod and smile.
3. Turning up the heat, they begin sharing their contempt with subtle barbs about how “the entertainment industry is a big fraud” or “Mr. Big doesn’t deserve to make that much money”, dropping the name Enron at least two or three times along the way.
4. I suddenly find myself uttering (sometimes even without my own permission), “Why shouldn’t a CEO make 100 times the amount of their assistant?” or “Who says Paris Hilton doesn’t deserve to make so much money and spend it however she likes?”

Before I know it, the brushfire turns into a torrent of flames, and I find myself backed into a corner explaining why teacher (or soldier or stay-at-home mom …) pay is so much lower than a minimum wage pro basketball player’s.

Over time, I began thinking, “Maybe I am crazy and they’re right. Big business is evil. CEO’s and professional athletes only look out for themselves. They don’t deserve that money.” But then Nicole Swan posed a question on her blog (Why Do We Hate Success?), and I realized I wasn’t alone. Maybe the problem is not “those people” and their astonishing accomplishments as much as it’s our response to their success. So I’m now back to my original thought:

You are getting paid exactly what you’re worth.

THEN WHY ARE TEACHERS SO UNDERPAID?
My wife is a teacher. My mother has been a teacher (in education) for 30 years. A teacher was the first person to say to me, “There is something special about you” (thank you, Mr. Martin). Teachers have been given a remarkable responsibility to nurture, instruct, and train, and an even greater opportunity to transform this world. The very same goes for soldiers. In fact, without teachers and soldiers, we would all be STUPID and UNSAFE. Seeing as how these are such honorable positions, why are they so underpaid?

Well, they’re not. They are under-appreciated, yes, but not underpaid.

It is simple: our INCOME is directly related to the CURRENT EXTRINSIC VALUE we bring to others (primarily defined as our usefulness, cost of replacement, and ability to save time or make money). As much as I hate to admit it, Paris Hilton has extraordinary extrinsic value. Whether it’s her ability to draw a crowd or sell hamburgers (both of which mean big bucks in her industry), she can do it better than me. The same goes for that ritzy CEO or devilishly talented athlete. Are their jobs honorable? I’ll leave that for you to decide, but extrinsic value has nothing to do with HONOR. And while that’s all a tough pill to swallow, it’s true.

But here’s the thing. Your significance is not defined by your net worth or your salary. And if you are feeling slighted by the “lifestyles of the rich and famous”, it’s not that they place too much value on money and possessions … it’s that you do. Don’t you see that YOU are the one that generates their wealth?

See, those who choose to live honorable lives must sometimes do so with sacrifice (especially teachers, soldiers and stay-at-home moms). While it is definitely possible to make great money and do what you love, many times the decision to serve your family/community/country will come with a financial cost. If you have made that choice, God bless you for your nobility. But always remember, YOU made the choice.

And if you feel you truly are getting paid less than you deserve, don’t focus on how much less you make than others … instead, continue to add value to those around you (serve them), develop and hone your skills (become a master), and identify ways to distinguish yourself from others in your field (search unique selling proposition or differentiated advantage) … do that and you will soon experience a season of abundant reaping.

*(if you’re curious what your specific job is currently worth, check out Payscale)

Tags: ambition, entertainment industry, money, purpose, success

Have you ever gone to a conference, read a book, or listened to a CD, and learned something you “knew” would help you, maybe even change your life … and then did nothing?! Would you say you’ve done this more than once? And what was the definition of insanity again?

Why do we do this? Because in the desire to implement what we’ve learned, we prematurely turn our attention to altering our “behavior” (or surface responses) instead of allowing our newfound lessons to transform our “beliefs” (or underlying foundation). Ultimately, however, because our beliefs drive and determine our behavior, the two cannot remain out of alignment. So when we attempt to behave in contrast to our beliefs, we’re left with two options: continue to beat ourselves up for failing, or return to our original behavior.

So where do our beliefs come from?
Each day we process an inordinate amount of information. To help make sense of this daily bombardment, we are forced to begin making generalizations to help speed up our processing time, and these generalizations ultimately become the foundation for our belief system. Once we “believe” something, our brains begin to operate on automatic pilot, filtering any input from the environment and searching for support systems to validate that belief. Of course, without this hardwired process, we would not be able to function or survive (i.e., Avoid a dog that’s foaming at the mouth because he will bite you).

The downside to this is that regardless of where our beliefs come from, we begin to blindly accept them and no longer question their origin or truth. Once adopted, these beliefs become gospel whether the past experience or perspective that created them was empowering or not. And before we know it, we have limited ourselves solely to the past as a source for our beliefs.

These “gospel beliefs” are easily displayed by filling in these blanks:

• I am _______ (intelligent, athletic, a failure, lazy, etc.)
• People are _______ (friendly, caring, selfish, power-hungry, etc.)
• Life is ________ (a joy, short, thrilling, boring, etc.)
• God is ________ (omnipotent, loving, uncaring, dead, etc.)

So while your beliefs drive you to action, you have the ability to not only eliminate bad beliefs, but develop a new empowering belief system. With enough emotional intensity and repetition, you can begin experiencing something as real, even if it hasn’t occurred yet. There are those few great achievers who believe this, and feel certain they can succeed at their new venture, even though there may be no prior examples or experiences to pull from … like the first four-minute mile or reaching the peak of Mount Everest … each has a different dream, and each has the power to make that dream reality.

So how do we CHANGE our Beliefs?
Here’s a process I have learned to take charge of the disempowering beliefs that hold me back …

Let you mind wander and write down any beliefs that pop in your head, both empowering and disempowering (as you did above), then circle the top beliefs on each list. With any disempowering belief, ask these questions:

GET LEVERAGE (PAIN / PLEASURE)

• “What negative impact has this belief had on my life?”
• “What will it ultimately cost me in my future emotionally (as well as in my relationships, physically, financially, etc.) if I don’t let go of this belief?”

WEAKEN OLD SUPPORT SYSTEMS

• “How is this belief ridiculous or absurd?”
• “Was the person I learned this belief from worth modeling in this area?”
• “Is this belief based on accurate interpretations?”

INSTALL NEW EMPOWERING BELIFES (Experiences, Information, Imagination, Visualizations)

• “What are empowering replacement beliefs that I can begin to support?”
• “What actions will I take to build a stronger foundation for this new belief?”

Tags: ambition, behavior, beliefs, personal development, purpose

If I could model one attribute of those successful people I admire most, it would be this: a clear Purpose/Direction.

It seems that very few truly achieve their dreams. Why? Some would say it is primarily a lack of self-discipline that holds them back, or the inability to persevere. Still others would claim a lack of talent or education. But what really prevents us from living out our “purpose”? I ran across a quote the other day that brought clarity to this difficult question for me:

“You never know what a man can do until he’s been given sufficient incentive to strive to his utmost to bring out the God-given abilities within him.” - James F. Lincoln (founder of Lincoln Power Co.)

Sufficient Incentive is what we lack … in other words, we don’t achieve our dreams because we haven’t yet discovered our dreams! We have yet to be set on a rewarding course because we’re so busy focusing on the “how” of life that we never truly explore our compelling “why”. I believe that discovering this “why” is the secret to fully unleashing that unbridled potential residing within each of us. Until we have an incentive strong enough to ignite our spirit, we will continue to beat ourselves up for not following through, hang our heads because we quit too soon, or find excuses for not achieving. On the other hand, when our purpose is revealed, self-discipline no longer acts as a stumbling block, rather it becomes our fuel … and failure is no longer an option.

So how do we discover and ultimately achieve our purpose, this “Sufficient Incentive”? C.S. Lewis shares in The Weight of Glory that maybe it’s because our desires are not too strong, but too weak.

“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” - C.S. Lewis

Take five minutes to just close your eyes and ask God to reveal to you a specific area of your life where you’ve been settling for anything less than “a holiday at the sea”. Don’t focus on how you will change, only focus on why. Begin writing down those things that bring you joy and stir your emotions.

Brian Biro, a leader in possibility thinking and author of The Joyful Spirit, gives four great daily questions that have helped me walk this path of discovering my driving purpose:

1. What’s my most important next step?
2. What kind of example am I committed to become today for those who depend on me and look to me for leadership and guidance?
3. What am I truly grateful about in my life today?
4. How will I increase my service to others today?

Paste them on your bathroom mirror. Just like building muscles, do this exercise consistently, and you will begin to see your own “Sufficient Incentive” develop and unfold.

Tags: ambition, faith, passion, personal development, purpose, success

Think of three or four people you genuinely admire, those that always seem to rise to the top, the ones that somehow capture your attention and inspire your imagination … three or four people that are receiving extraordinary results in their lives … and evaluate the common attributes you find among them. Write them down.

Here’s my first stab. This is by no means an extensive list of skills necessary for success, rather it’s merely an attempt to uniquely describe those people in my life I desire to model. So here goes:

Five Attributes I Admire Most in the People I Admire Most

1. Purpose/Direction … Instead of concerning themselves most with “how” they will succeed, they have a compelling “why” that drives them to success. (Discover Your Purpose with Incentive *link added)
2. Passion/Emotion … They are never boring. They laugh, enjoy life and work, and embrace the changes set before them with creative solutions. (Great Leadership Advice - “Don’t be Boring” *link added)
3. Faith/Belief System … They believe in something bigger than themselves, creating a strong sense of integrity and perspective; a life-barometer of sorts. They have empowering beliefs. (Focus on Your Beliefs, Not Your Behavior *link added)
4. Influence/Leadership … They have the ability to rally talented and passionate people together for a common cause, and inspire others to succeed. They attract success.
5. Wisdom … They are more concerned with learning and applying universal natural laws than trendy principles and methodology. They are willing to think at higher levels.

Over the next week or so, I’ll attempt to explore each of these attributes more in depth.

Tags: faith, leadership, passion, personal development, purpose, success

I love engaging in new adventures and hobbies … but typically it’s with a “been there, got the t-shirt” mentality. It seems as soon as I find a passion for one thing, a new fascination develops. In just the last 10 years, I’ve been engrossed in mountain biking, fast cars, illusionism, learning new instruments, post-modern/emergent culture, computers, online poker, snowboarding … and most recently, technology.

I just can’t believe what little I know about technology and the internet. I would say friends and family consider me their “go-to” person for all their tech needs … I develop websites, set up wireless routers, design hip logos, help research the best digital cameras under $300, post pictures online, and can pretty much hold my own in the occasional geekified conversation. But recently, I have become overwhelmed by all that’s out there. Companies are starting up daily pushing the limits of technology and the web. Social media/networking, search mashups, tag search engines, peer-to-peer voice technology, wiki’s … the list never ends. As soon as I think I’ve figured it out, I realize there’s 100 more links itching to be clicked.

Millions of students and singles lap up this technology, because they get to perpetually re-invent themselves. As they seek out their own identity, they’re given “safe” places to test new behaviors, personalities, and attitudes. If they disappoint a friend, they simply remove them from their “friends” list. If they don’t like the results they’re getting, they get a new username, and along with it, a brand new identity.

Instinctively, however, we know we’ve each only been given one “username”. Desperately trying to balance family, our faith, career, finances, hobbies, entertainment, health, and more, many of us are frantically bouncing from one area of life to another, trying to salvage whatever part of life has recently been neglected. We can’t understand why the “1. God, 2. Family, 3. Career” method fails us, but just pray our lives remain “compartmentalized” and in control. We desperately want to improve, but we’re already teetering on insanity in our attempts to “order” our lives.

I believe there is a better way. I believe God’s intentions were not to isolate one part of life from another. I believe it is possible to desire success and humility, to live with purpose and enjoy life, to achieve great things and contribute to society. But could it be true that the very thing we’ve grown up fearing is the very thing that will set us free? Of course, it takes courage to allow every area of life to merge — What will your church friends say? What will your fishing buddies think? Will your family accept the new you? What would it look like if you found “congruence” in every aspect of life?

Tags: balance, personal development, purpose