OK. So, I’m not the only one haunted by that pesky ghoul we call procrastination. While it’s seemingly so difficult to tame, maybe we can shine some light on the underlying issues to help end procrastination once and for all. Let’s “dispel” a few common procrastination myths, and see if we can’t take back control of our time, our passions, and our goals.

The “Perfectionist” Myth:
You’ve probably heard (or spoken) some of these phrases - “I’m a perfectionist and my harshest critic. If I can’t do it right, then I just can’t consider myself finished. That’s just the way I am, and if I don’t have everything just right, then I just have difficulty even starting.” This is the perfectionist mentality, and is often expressed by adding trivial tasks to your daily list like organizing the pantry instead of making that difficult phone call, or organizing files on the computer instead of focusing on an upcoming presentation … anything to delay the inevitable.

Translation:
The phrase, “I’m a perfectionist” can best be translated, “I’m afraid to fail.” In an attempt to hide our fear of failure, we clothe our timidity with something much more noble sounding - perfection. Simply, you’re manipulating a fault into a virtue, as if to say to those around us, “Yes, you may have accomplished great things, but you just don’t know what it’s like to be above all that.” Ultimately however, this fear of failure leads to a lack of direction and accomplishment.

Solution:
Contrary to popular belief, many things in life are not graded, and don’t necessitate over-analyzing. There’s no A+ or D-, they are simply pass/fail (a great example of this is returning phone calls … yes, while dialing the number correctly takes a certain degree of hand-eye coordination, it typically doesn’t take a great deal of thought or preparation). When it comes to these kind of tasks, identify them as such and then just get them done. It’s as simple as that. As we’ve all heard before, “Sometimes good enough is good enough”.

For the larger projects, Jim Rohn shares a refreshingly simple remedy. If you’re having trouble starting something, write it down. If you’re having trouble finishing something, break it down. The fear of failure loves confusion and complexity, and the best way to conquer that fear is to first determine the scope of your project or task, write it down, and then break it down into manageable pieces. Reduce the complexity to a single action you’re confident you can complete RIGHT NOW, and then do it. As you begin to take these simple steps toward your goal, momentum will develop, and before you know it, the procrastination goblin will seek residence elsewhere.

The “Over-Committed” Myth:
This has always been a favorite of mine. Often you may hear (or say), “Oh, I am just so over-committed, I don’t even have time to accomplish this or that. I seem to have over-committed once again. If you could only see my schedule.” Generally speaking, people who struggle with this ghostly terror wear their packed calendar like a badge of honor. They revel in the fact that they have the ability to say yes to everything thrown their way, but end up playing the martyr when it gets down to it. “Woe is me,” they cry, “the world has me over-committed again!”

Translation:
Here’s the skinny. And never forget this. If you are feeling over-committed, you are actually UNDER-committed. See, those that truly commit don’t allow distractions to fill up their valuable time. They have determined the areas of life most important to them and then guard them viciously. The need to commit to more than we can handle stems from fearing a lack of significance. We enjoy the fleeting feeling that comes from saying yes, but wallow in the guilt of not having the ability to play full out once we’ve committed.

Solution:
Know your goals and learn to say no. This is also one of the greatest time management tools available. If you know your goals, it makes it easy to say, “I’m sorry, I am already fully committed to something else, but I’m honored that you asked.” Write your goals out, and then write out your current commitments. I don’t recommending bailing ship on every activity that doesn’t fit smoothly with a goal of yours, but if you begin consciously aligning your activities with your desired goals, you will not only recognize a transformation in your schedule, you will also see dramatic results.

Like a spooky creak in the attic, once you identify the source, you will no longer be frozen in fear, and will begin to see procrastination for what it really is … simply an unfounded fear. Whether it’s the fear of failure or the lack of significance, don’t let procrastination hold you down. Write it down and break it down, set goals and learn to say no, and see your desires develop before your eyes.

1. Someone mentions their disdain for the greed, selfishness, and evil intentions of some wealthy rock star or millionaire businessman.
2. I nod and smile.
3. Turning up the heat, they begin sharing their contempt with subtle barbs about how “the entertainment industry is a big fraud” or “Mr. Big doesn’t deserve to make that much money”, dropping the name Enron at least two or three times along the way.
4. I suddenly find myself uttering (sometimes even without my own permission), “Why shouldn’t a CEO make 100 times the amount of their assistant?” or “Who says Paris Hilton doesn’t deserve to make so much money and spend it however she likes?”

Before I know it, the brushfire turns into a torrent of flames, and I find myself backed into a corner explaining why teacher (or soldier or stay-at-home mom …) pay is so much lower than a minimum wage pro basketball player’s.

Over time, I began thinking, “Maybe I am crazy and they’re right. Big business is evil. CEO’s and professional athletes only look out for themselves. They don’t deserve that money.” But then Nicole Swan posed a question on her blog (Why Do We Hate Success?), and I realized I wasn’t alone. Maybe the problem is not “those people” and their astonishing accomplishments as much as it’s our response to their success. So I’m now back to my original thought:

You are getting paid exactly what you’re worth.

THEN WHY ARE TEACHERS SO UNDERPAID?
My wife is a teacher. My mother has been a teacher (in education) for 30 years. A teacher was the first person to say to me, “There is something special about you” (thank you, Mr. Martin). Teachers have been given a remarkable responsibility to nurture, instruct, and train, and an even greater opportunity to transform this world. The very same goes for soldiers. In fact, without teachers and soldiers, we would all be STUPID and UNSAFE. Seeing as how these are such honorable positions, why are they so underpaid?

Well, they’re not. They are under-appreciated, yes, but not underpaid.

It is simple: our INCOME is directly related to the CURRENT EXTRINSIC VALUE we bring to others (primarily defined as our usefulness, cost of replacement, and ability to save time or make money). As much as I hate to admit it, Paris Hilton has extraordinary extrinsic value. Whether it’s her ability to draw a crowd or sell hamburgers (both of which mean big bucks in her industry), she can do it better than me. The same goes for that ritzy CEO or devilishly talented athlete. Are their jobs honorable? I’ll leave that for you to decide, but extrinsic value has nothing to do with HONOR. And while that’s all a tough pill to swallow, it’s true.

But here’s the thing. Your significance is not defined by your net worth or your salary. And if you are feeling slighted by the “lifestyles of the rich and famous”, it’s not that they place too much value on money and possessions … it’s that you do. Don’t you see that YOU are the one that generates their wealth?

See, those who choose to live honorable lives must sometimes do so with sacrifice (especially teachers, soldiers and stay-at-home moms). While it is definitely possible to make great money and do what you love, many times the decision to serve your family/community/country will come with a financial cost. If you have made that choice, God bless you for your nobility. But always remember, YOU made the choice.

And if you feel you truly are getting paid less than you deserve, don’t focus on how much less you make than others … instead, continue to add value to those around you (serve them), develop and hone your skills (become a master), and identify ways to distinguish yourself from others in your field (search unique selling proposition or differentiated advantage) … do that and you will soon experience a season of abundant reaping.

*(if you’re curious what your specific job is currently worth, check out Payscale)

“Scientiae pars est quaedam nescire.” - Erasmus
(Not to know certain things is a part of knowledge)

Erasmus, the mighty scholar and theologian, may have been on to something … is it possible that “not to know certain things is a part of knowledge”? Is there a point where we must no longer perpetually dissect our emotions, decisions, and levels of consciousness, and instead accept that “not knowing” is sometimes knowledge enough?

I believe personal growth is not only about ascending to more ethereal realms of consciousness, but it’s also about pursuing more elementary foundational truths. I know, elementary just doesn’t sound sexy, but it’s true. A blog title like “143,029 Simple Ways to Instantly Manifest a Life of Productivity & Wealth” may be enticing, but does it have staying power?

“Give the mind two seconds alone and it thinks it’s Pythagoras.” - Mystic & Poet, Annie Dillard

So many people share their thoughts like a “water faucet” … you know, just turn it on and stuff starts pouring out. Do you know anyone like that? The Sunday afternoon armchair quarterback? The Monday morning co-worker that always knows what management “should be doing”?

I have found myself in this “faucet” mentality while writing. For some reason, I impose upon myself an internal pressure comparing my thoughts and posts to surrounding writers, and in competitive form, I cannot accept that sometimes I just don’t know. I find myself cramming down more knowledge (the faster the better), bearing down, and ultimately regurgitating the information I’ve consumed as if I’m an expert. Twist the faucet, knowledge pours out.

I now challenge myself to treat my thoughts less like a “faucet” and more like a “furnace”. True wisdom more often than not follows care, intentionality, and patience. Wisdom, like a furnace, takes many logs to get the fire smoldering, but once a foundation of coals has formed, heat … truth … remains. And THEN when the furnace is opened, it can be dispersed freely and abundantly.

So next time you believe you’ve got it all figured out, don’t just turn on the “faucet”. Your discipline and self-resolve may leave you saying, “I DON’T KNOW”, but be patient, seek fundamental truths, allow your thoughts to form, and then out of that discernment, let your “furnace” burn.

Why do we do this? Because in the desire to implement what we’ve learned, we prematurely turn our attention to altering our “behavior” (or surface responses) instead of allowing our newfound lessons to transform our “beliefs” (or underlying foundation). Ultimately, however, because our beliefs drive and determine our behavior, the two cannot remain out of alignment. So when we attempt to behave in contrast to our beliefs, we’re left with two options: continue to beat ourselves up for failing, or return to our original behavior.

So where do our beliefs come from?
Each day we process an inordinate amount of information. To help make sense of this daily bombardment, we are forced to begin making generalizations to help speed up our processing time, and these generalizations ultimately become the foundation for our belief system. Once we “believe” something, our brains begin to operate on automatic pilot, filtering any input from the environment and searching for support systems to validate that belief. Of course, without this hardwired process, we would not be able to function or survive (i.e., Avoid a dog that’s foaming at the mouth because he will bite you).

The downside to this is that regardless of where our beliefs come from, we begin to blindly accept them and no longer question their origin or truth. Once adopted, these beliefs become gospel whether the past experience or perspective that created them was empowering or not. And before we know it, we have limited ourselves solely to the past as a source for our beliefs.

These “gospel beliefs” are easily displayed by filling in these blanks:

• I am _______ (intelligent, athletic, a failure, lazy, etc.)
• People are _______ (friendly, caring, selfish, power-hungry, etc.)
• Life is ________ (a joy, short, thrilling, boring, etc.)
• God is ________ (omnipotent, loving, uncaring, dead, etc.)

So while your beliefs drive you to action, you have the ability to not only eliminate bad beliefs, but develop a new empowering belief system. With enough emotional intensity and repetition, you can begin experiencing something as real, even if it hasn’t occurred yet. There are those few great achievers who believe this, and feel certain they can succeed at their new venture, even though there may be no prior examples or experiences to pull from … like the first four-minute mile or reaching the peak of Mount Everest … each has a different dream, and each has the power to make that dream reality.

So how do we CHANGE our Beliefs?
Here’s a process I have learned to take charge of the disempowering beliefs that hold me back …

Let you mind wander and write down any beliefs that pop in your head, both empowering and disempowering (as you did above), then circle the top beliefs on each list. With any disempowering belief, ask these questions:

GET LEVERAGE (PAIN / PLEASURE)

• “What negative impact has this belief had on my life?”
• “What will it ultimately cost me in my future emotionally (as well as in my relationships, physically, financially, etc.) if I don’t let go of this belief?”

WEAKEN OLD SUPPORT SYSTEMS

• “How is this belief ridiculous or absurd?”
• “Was the person I learned this belief from worth modeling in this area?”
• “Is this belief based on accurate interpretations?”

INSTALL NEW EMPOWERING BELIFES (Experiences, Information, Imagination, Visualizations)

• “What are empowering replacement beliefs that I can begin to support?”
• “What actions will I take to build a stronger foundation for this new belief?”

It got me thinking about how our own energy/passion levels evolve over the years. As children, we’re not afraid to make our emotions known, but as we grow older, we’re trained to bottle up any excitement in fear that people might “read our hand”, and potentially even use this knowledge to their advantage. We’ve also experienced the enormous disappointment when our “Christmas” never comes.

Granted, the ability to temper our emotions has its merit, but we often mistake controlled emotion with hiding our excitement and passion altogether.

Take the act of haggling prices at a car dealership, for example. We’ve been trained to remain stoic and militant during “negotiations”, for any passion exhibited over those several hours might represent weakness … and thus, a higher price.

Is it possible, however, that your complete lack of enthusiasm in the process could work against you? Consider for a moment the alternative. What would happen if you walked up to the salesman and said,

“I’ve been passionately saving up for this beautiful car for nine months, and know everything there is to know about it, including the dealer’s cost. I am committed to driving out of here today in this new car, but I need your help in assuring that I spend no more than $XX,XXX, and that I can be out on the road in one hour. Can I have your commitment that you’ll do everything you can to make this a win-win for both of us?”

Would you at least have his attention?

I’m not necessarily recommending this for your next car purchase, rather I am only offering a challenge to consider areas of life where we conceal our emotions at our own expense. Do my co-workers only know me as rational, sensible, and … boring? What’s the last thing they can remember me truly getting excited over? When was the last time I did something fun and unpredictable for a family member?

“Don’t be boring. Don’t ever be predictable.” - Harvey Mackay

Remember, people don’t want to follow robots. So, while it’s often proper to control your behavior, don’t be afraid to show a little emotion. Not only will your passion breed more passion, it will also breed loyalty … and those you lead will appreciate you for it.

It seems that very few truly achieve their dreams. Why? Some would say it is primarily a lack of self-discipline that holds them back, or the inability to persevere. Still others would claim a lack of talent or education. But what really prevents us from living out our “purpose”? I ran across a quote the other day that brought clarity to this difficult question for me:

“You never know what a man can do until he’s been given sufficient incentive to strive to his utmost to bring out the God-given abilities within him.” - James F. Lincoln (founder of Lincoln Power Co.)

Sufficient Incentive is what we lack … in other words, we don’t achieve our dreams because we haven’t yet discovered our dreams! We have yet to be set on a rewarding course because we’re so busy focusing on the “how” of life that we never truly explore our compelling “why”. I believe that discovering this “why” is the secret to fully unleashing that unbridled potential residing within each of us. Until we have an incentive strong enough to ignite our spirit, we will continue to beat ourselves up for not following through, hang our heads because we quit too soon, or find excuses for not achieving. On the other hand, when our purpose is revealed, self-discipline no longer acts as a stumbling block, rather it becomes our fuel … and failure is no longer an option.

So how do we discover and ultimately achieve our purpose, this “Sufficient Incentive”? C.S. Lewis shares in The Weight of Glory that maybe it’s because our desires are not too strong, but too weak.

“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” - C.S. Lewis

Take five minutes to just close your eyes and ask God to reveal to you a specific area of your life where you’ve been settling for anything less than “a holiday at the sea”. Don’t focus on how you will change, only focus on why. Begin writing down those things that bring you joy and stir your emotions.

Brian Biro, a leader in possibility thinking and author of The Joyful Spirit, gives four great daily questions that have helped me walk this path of discovering my driving purpose:

1. What’s my most important next step?
2. What kind of example am I committed to become today for those who depend on me and look to me for leadership and guidance?
3. What am I truly grateful about in my life today?
4. How will I increase my service to others today?

Paste them on your bathroom mirror. Just like building muscles, do this exercise consistently, and you will begin to see your own “Sufficient Incentive” develop and unfold.

Clearly, however, while one can attain success in life and remain empty, one can just as easily find significance in life and remain broke. This leads me to believe there is a balance, that both success and significance are crucial to a whole, healthy, and dynamic life. In fact, as I explore the common attributes of the successful people around me, I have found that to truly achieve on a consistent basis, it is necessary to first find significance in something greater than one’s self.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines success: the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted … in other words, success is measurable through achievement. So while success is different for each person, I believe it can still be defined and modeled. This is the impetus for describing in more detail attributes I admire most in the successful people I know.

Here’s my first stab. This is by no means an extensive list of skills necessary for success, rather it’s merely an attempt to uniquely describe those people in my life I desire to model. So here goes:

Five Attributes I Admire Most in the People I Admire Most

1. Purpose/Direction … Instead of concerning themselves most with “how” they will succeed, they have a compelling “why” that drives them to success. (Discover Your Purpose with Incentive *link added)
2. Passion/Emotion … They are never boring. They laugh, enjoy life and work, and embrace the changes set before them with creative solutions. (Great Leadership Advice - “Don’t be Boring” *link added)
3. Faith/Belief System … They believe in something bigger than themselves, creating a strong sense of integrity and perspective; a life-barometer of sorts. They have empowering beliefs. (Focus on Your Beliefs, Not Your Behavior *link added)
4. Influence/Leadership … They have the ability to rally talented and passionate people together for a common cause, and inspire others to succeed. They attract success.
5. Wisdom … They are more concerned with learning and applying universal natural laws than trendy principles and methodology. They are willing to think at higher levels.

Over the next week or so, I’ll attempt to explore each of these attributes more in depth.

I just can’t believe what little I know about technology and the internet. I would say friends and family consider me their “go-to” person for all their tech needs … I develop websites, set up wireless routers, design hip logos, help research the best digital cameras under $300, post pictures online, and can pretty much hold my own in the occasional geekified conversation. But recently, I have become overwhelmed by all that’s out there. Companies are starting up daily pushing the limits of technology and the web. Social media/networking, search mashups, tag search engines, peer-to-peer voice technology, wiki’s … the list never ends. As soon as I think I’ve figured it out, I realize there’s 100 more links itching to be clicked.

Millions of students and singles lap up this technology, because they get to perpetually re-invent themselves. As they seek out their own identity, they’re given “safe” places to test new behaviors, personalities, and attitudes. If they disappoint a friend, they simply remove them from their “friends” list. If they don’t like the results they’re getting, they get a new username, and along with it, a brand new identity.

Instinctively, however, we know we’ve each only been given one “username”. Desperately trying to balance family, our faith, career, finances, hobbies, entertainment, health, and more, many of us are frantically bouncing from one area of life to another, trying to salvage whatever part of life has recently been neglected. We can’t understand why the “1. God, 2. Family, 3. Career” method fails us, but just pray our lives remain “compartmentalized” and in control. We desperately want to improve, but we’re already teetering on insanity in our attempts to “order” our lives.

I believe there is a better way. I believe God’s intentions were not to isolate one part of life from another. I believe it is possible to desire success and humility, to live with purpose and enjoy life, to achieve great things and contribute to society. But could it be true that the very thing we’ve grown up fearing is the very thing that will set us free? Of course, it takes courage to allow every area of life to merge — What will your church friends say? What will your fishing buddies think? Will your family accept the new you? What would it look like if you found “congruence” in every aspect of life?

Looking forward to the journey …