Focus on Your Beliefs, Not Your Behavior

Have you ever gone to a conference, read a book, or listened to a CD, and learned something you “knew” would help you, maybe even change your life … and then did nothing?! Would you say you’ve done this more than once? And what was the definition of insanity again?

Why do we do this? Because in the desire to implement what we’ve learned, we prematurely turn our attention to altering our “behavior” (or surface responses) instead of allowing our newfound lessons to transform our “beliefs” (or underlying foundation). Ultimately, however, because our beliefs drive and determine our behavior, the two cannot remain out of alignment. So when we attempt to behave in contrast to our beliefs, we’re left with two options: continue to beat ourselves up for failing, or return to our original behavior.

So where do our beliefs come from?
Each day we process an inordinate amount of information. To help make sense of this daily bombardment, we are forced to begin making generalizations to help speed up our processing time, and these generalizations ultimately become the foundation for our belief system. Once we “believe” something, our brains begin to operate on automatic pilot, filtering any input from the environment and searching for support systems to validate that belief. Of course, without this hardwired process, we would not be able to function or survive (i.e., Avoid a dog that’s foaming at the mouth because he will bite you).

The downside to this is that regardless of where our beliefs come from, we begin to blindly accept them and no longer question their origin or truth. Once adopted, these beliefs become gospel whether the past experience or perspective that created them was empowering or not. And before we know it, we have limited ourselves solely to the past as a source for our beliefs.

These “gospel beliefs” are easily displayed by filling in these blanks:

I am _______ (intelligent, athletic, a failure, lazy, etc.)
People are _______ (friendly, caring, selfish, power-hungry, etc.)
Life is ________ (a joy, short, thrilling, boring, etc.)
God is ________ (omnipotent, loving, uncaring, dead, etc.)

So while your beliefs drive you to action, you have the ability to not only eliminate bad beliefs, but develop a new empowering belief system. With enough emotional intensity and repetition, you can begin experiencing something as real, even if it hasn’t occurred yet. There are those few great achievers who believe this, and feel certain they can succeed at their new venture, even though there may be no prior examples or experiences to pull from … like the first four-minute mile or reaching the peak of Mount Everest … each has a different dream, and each has the power to make that dream reality.

So how do we CHANGE our Beliefs?
Here’s a process I have learned to take charge of the disempowering beliefs that hold me back …

Let you mind wander and write down any beliefs that pop in your head, both empowering and disempowering (as you did above), then circle the top beliefs on each list. With any disempowering belief, ask these questions:

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“What negative impact has this belief had on my life?”
“What will it ultimately cost me in my future emotionally (as well as in my relationships, physically, financially, etc.) if I don’t let go of this belief?”

WEAKEN OLD SUPPORT SYSTEMS