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Have you ever gone to a conference, read a book, or listened to a CD, and learned something you “knew” would help you, maybe even change your life … and then did nothing?! Would you say you’ve done this more than once? And what was the definition of insanity again?

Why do we do this? Because in the desire to implement what we’ve learned, we prematurely turn our attention to altering our “behavior” (or surface responses) instead of allowing our newfound lessons to transform our “beliefs” (or underlying foundation). Ultimately, however, because our beliefs drive and determine our behavior, the two cannot remain out of alignment. So when we attempt to behave in contrast to our beliefs, we’re left with two options: continue to beat ourselves up for failing, or return to our original behavior.

So where do our beliefs come from?
Each day we process an inordinate amount of information. To help make sense of this daily bombardment, we are forced to begin making generalizations to help speed up our processing time, and these generalizations ultimately become the foundation for our belief system. Once we “believe” something, our brains begin to operate on automatic pilot, filtering any input from the environment and searching for support systems to validate that belief. Of course, without this hardwired process, we would not be able to function or survive (i.e., Avoid a dog that’s foaming at the mouth because he will bite you).

The downside to this is that regardless of where our beliefs come from, we begin to blindly accept them and no longer question their origin or truth. Once adopted, these beliefs become gospel whether the past experience or perspective that created them was empowering or not. And before we know it, we have limited ourselves solely to the past as a source for our beliefs.

These “gospel beliefs” are easily displayed by filling in these blanks:

• I am _______ (intelligent, athletic, a failure, lazy, etc.)
• People are _______ (friendly, caring, selfish, power-hungry, etc.)
• Life is ________ (a joy, short, thrilling, boring, etc.)
• God is ________ (omnipotent, loving, uncaring, dead, etc.)

So while your beliefs drive you to action, you have the ability to not only eliminate bad beliefs, but develop a new empowering belief system. With enough emotional intensity and repetition, you can begin experiencing something as real, even if it hasn’t occurred yet. There are those few great achievers who believe this, and feel certain they can succeed at their new venture, even though there may be no prior examples or experiences to pull from … like the first four-minute mile or reaching the peak of Mount Everest … each has a different dream, and each has the power to make that dream reality.

So how do we CHANGE our Beliefs?
Here’s a process I have learned to take charge of the disempowering beliefs that hold me back …

Let you mind wander and write down any beliefs that pop in your head, both empowering and disempowering (as you did above), then circle the top beliefs on each list. With any disempowering belief, ask these questions:

GET LEVERAGE (PAIN / PLEASURE)

• “What negative impact has this belief had on my life?”
• “What will it ultimately cost me in my future emotionally (as well as in my relationships, physically, financially, etc.) if I don’t let go of this belief?”

WEAKEN OLD SUPPORT SYSTEMS

• “How is this belief ridiculous or absurd?”
• “Was the person I learned this belief from worth modeling in this area?”
• “Is this belief based on accurate interpretations?”

INSTALL NEW EMPOWERING BELIFES (Experiences, Information, Imagination, Visualizations)

• “What are empowering replacement beliefs that I can begin to support?”
• “What actions will I take to build a stronger foundation for this new belief?”

Tags: ambition, behavior, beliefs, personal development, purpose

I recently spent the weekend with my 4 year old twin nephews, and let me say, you do not rest with them around! From swimming to ice cream sundaes to Little Einsteins videos to musical parades around the house, they were non-stop excitement. And as our exhausting summer weekend came to an end, one of these little tots best summed it up, proudly exclaiming, “Bye now! Thanks for Christmas!”

It got me thinking about how our own energy/passion levels evolve over the years. As children, we’re not afraid to make our emotions known, but as we grow older, we’re trained to bottle up any excitement in fear that people might “read our hand”, and potentially even use this knowledge to their advantage. We’ve also experienced the enormous disappointment when our “Christmas” never comes.

Granted, the ability to temper our emotions has its merit, but we often mistake controlled emotion with hiding our excitement and passion altogether.

Take the act of haggling prices at a car dealership, for example. We’ve been trained to remain stoic and militant during “negotiations”, for any passion exhibited over those several hours might represent weakness … and thus, a higher price.

Is it possible, however, that your complete lack of enthusiasm in the process could work against you? Consider for a moment the alternative. What would happen if you walked up to the salesman and said,

“I’ve been passionately saving up for this beautiful car for nine months, and know everything there is to know about it, including the dealer’s cost. I am committed to driving out of here today in this new car, but I need your help in assuring that I spend no more than $XX,XXX, and that I can be out on the road in one hour. Can I have your commitment that you’ll do everything you can to make this a win-win for both of us?”

Would you at least have his attention?

I’m not necessarily recommending this for your next car purchase, rather I am only offering a challenge to consider areas of life where we conceal our emotions at our own expense. Do my co-workers only know me as rational, sensible, and … boring? What’s the last thing they can remember me truly getting excited over? When was the last time I did something fun and unpredictable for a family member?

“Don’t be boring. Don’t ever be predictable.” - Harvey Mackay

Remember, people don’t want to follow robots. So, while it’s often proper to control your behavior, don’t be afraid to show a little emotion. Not only will your passion breed more passion, it will also breed loyalty … and those you lead will appreciate you for it.

Tags: emotion, ideas, leadership, passion, personal development

If I could model one attribute of those successful people I admire most, it would be this: a clear Purpose/Direction.

It seems that very few truly achieve their dreams. Why? Some would say it is primarily a lack of self-discipline that holds them back, or the inability to persevere. Still others would claim a lack of talent or education. But what really prevents us from living out our “purpose”? I ran across a quote the other day that brought clarity to this difficult question for me:

“You never know what a man can do until he’s been given sufficient incentive to strive to his utmost to bring out the God-given abilities within him.” - James F. Lincoln (founder of Lincoln Power Co.)

Sufficient Incentive is what we lack … in other words, we don’t achieve our dreams because we haven’t yet discovered our dreams! We have yet to be set on a rewarding course because we’re so busy focusing on the “how” of life that we never truly explore our compelling “why”. I believe that discovering this “why” is the secret to fully unleashing that unbridled potential residing within each of us. Until we have an incentive strong enough to ignite our spirit, we will continue to beat ourselves up for not following through, hang our heads because we quit too soon, or find excuses for not achieving. On the other hand, when our purpose is revealed, self-discipline no longer acts as a stumbling block, rather it becomes our fuel … and failure is no longer an option.

So how do we discover and ultimately achieve our purpose, this “Sufficient Incentive”? C.S. Lewis shares in The Weight of Glory that maybe it’s because our desires are not too strong, but too weak.

“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” - C.S. Lewis

Take five minutes to just close your eyes and ask God to reveal to you a specific area of your life where you’ve been settling for anything less than “a holiday at the sea”. Don’t focus on how you will change, only focus on why. Begin writing down those things that bring you joy and stir your emotions.

Brian Biro, a leader in possibility thinking and author of The Joyful Spirit, gives four great daily questions that have helped me walk this path of discovering my driving purpose:

1. What’s my most important next step?
2. What kind of example am I committed to become today for those who depend on me and look to me for leadership and guidance?
3. What am I truly grateful about in my life today?
4. How will I increase my service to others today?

Paste them on your bathroom mirror. Just like building muscles, do this exercise consistently, and you will begin to see your own “Sufficient Incentive” develop and unfold.

Tags: ambition, faith, passion, personal development, purpose, success

As I have been “marinating” on the attributes of success, I have already come to realize how uncomfortable it is for me to ponder and discuss the subject. Somewhere along the way, I was taught that success is a four letter word. I have somehow been conditioned to believe that a desire to succeed is by nature selfish and empty, and should be avoided at all costs. “Don’t seek success, seek significance”, the inner voice whispers in my head. Too many times I have seen men and women fueled solely by the desire for fame, fortune, and status … all to find emptiness and heartache.

Clearly, however, while one can attain success in life and remain empty, one can just as easily find significance in life and remain broke. This leads me to believe there is a balance, that both success and significance are crucial to a whole, healthy, and dynamic life. In fact, as I explore the common attributes of the successful people around me, I have found that to truly achieve on a consistent basis, it is necessary to first find significance in something greater than one’s self.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines success: the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted … in other words, success is measurable through achievement. So while success is different for each person, I believe it can still be defined and modeled. This is the impetus for describing in more detail attributes I admire most in the successful people I know.

Tags: personal development, success

Think of three or four people you genuinely admire, those that always seem to rise to the top, the ones that somehow capture your attention and inspire your imagination … three or four people that are receiving extraordinary results in their lives … and evaluate the common attributes you find among them. Write them down.

Here’s my first stab. This is by no means an extensive list of skills necessary for success, rather it’s merely an attempt to uniquely describe those people in my life I desire to model. So here goes:

Five Attributes I Admire Most in the People I Admire Most

1. Purpose/Direction … Instead of concerning themselves most with “how” they will succeed, they have a compelling “why” that drives them to success. (Discover Your Purpose with Incentive *link added)
2. Passion/Emotion … They are never boring. They laugh, enjoy life and work, and embrace the changes set before them with creative solutions. (Great Leadership Advice - “Don’t be Boring” *link added)
3. Faith/Belief System … They believe in something bigger than themselves, creating a strong sense of integrity and perspective; a life-barometer of sorts. They have empowering beliefs. (Focus on Your Beliefs, Not Your Behavior *link added)
4. Influence/Leadership … They have the ability to rally talented and passionate people together for a common cause, and inspire others to succeed. They attract success.
5. Wisdom … They are more concerned with learning and applying universal natural laws than trendy principles and methodology. They are willing to think at higher levels.

Over the next week or so, I’ll attempt to explore each of these attributes more in depth.

Tags: faith, leadership, passion, personal development, purpose, success